Anything scientific must, of course, be a leftist plot

There is nothing more stubbornly reactionary than those who deny anything and everything scientific. Facts to these people are nothing but pesky nuisances or – worse – lies disguised as “facts” by the liberal news media. You would think, in this modern age, everyone would agree Planet Earth is not flat. But I’m sure there are still some hold-outs – the flat-Earthers – who claim it’s not. Some of these delusionists are also “Birthers” who think Obama was born in a foreign country – or on another flat planet. Oh well, the Earth will keep turning no matter what the hold-outs believe.

The following are the three kinds of deniers that either perplex or disgust me:

Evolution deniers

These are the people who deny geologic and human evolution and who think the world was formed in a week or so 6,000 years ago. They take Adam and Eve literally, as they do everything else in the Bible.

Some of these deniers have even touted the preposterous notion that dinosaurs existed in the Medieval Era. Their proof? The dragon-like creatures so often depicted in Medieval paintings, such as “St. George Battling the Dragon,” were actually dinosaurs, not dragons. Yes, I have heard several people tell me that throughout the years, and I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but my heart is filled with pity for such gullible people, who are willing be believe anything and everything to cram-fit – Proscrustean-like – this messy world into their Bible versions.

One human-evolution denier, a former acquaintance, used to scowl with derision, saying such things as this: “How could a gnat or a monkey all of a sudden turn into a human being?” My answer, basically, was, “First of all and most importantly, it wasn’t all of a sudden.”

Reproduction deniers

These rampant misogynists, more common than you’d suppose, are those who tortuously twist biological facts to suit their male-centric view of the world. We all remember the politician who claimed women who are raped do not get pregnant because the female body has a way of “shutting down” after such a trauma. Fortunately, that dolt lost the election.

Then there was the politician who with a sick sense of humor suggested women hold an aspirin between their knees to avoid getting pregnant, like they did in the “good old days.”

These medieval throw-backs, these blockhead hold-outs, use their pretzel logic and their assaults on women to deny access to legal abortion, even in cases of rape and incest; and to try to block women’s access to contraception. They might as well go around spouting women would be “better off barefoot and pregnant,” like in the “good old days.”

Some of them are doing their best to pass laws requiring women to get vaginal ultra-sound probes before an abortion would be allowed. I think we should require these goons to get procto exams in an effort to determine where their brains lie – if they have any at all. Let us hope and pray these misogynists, these Dark-Age inquisitors, continue to lose elections. Sadly, some of these deniers are women like our very own intellectual titan, Michele Bachmann.

Global-warming deniers

These people would rather drown than have to admit global warming is caused by human activities. They love to go about spouting such lamebrain assertions as this: “If the Earth is warming up, then how come it’s so cold today?”

The most radical of these people espouse the paranoid-conspiracy theory that goes like this: Liberal leftists want to hamstring America’s productive capacity by putting crimps on the burning of fossil fuels because when the nation is economically crippled, it will be easier for an anti-Christ (like the wily President Obama) to take over and bring us into a One-World Communist-Atheist Government. Yup, sure enough! Oh, and not to forget, if the evil government takes all our guns away, it will be easier for “them” to crush democracy and enslave us all in the One-World State.

Ah, yes, folks, the human imagination is a wondrous thing. Sometimes too wondrous for words.

Meantime, as the planet continues to turn, may the forces of intelligence continue to evolve.

Dennis Dalman

Dennis Dalman

Dalman was born and raised in South St. Cloud, graduated from St. Cloud Tech High School, then graduated from St. Cloud State University with a degree in English (emphasis on American and British literature) and mass communications (emphasis on print journalism). He studied in London, England for a year (1980-81) where he concentrated on British literature, political science, the history of Great Britain and wrote a book-length study of the British writer V.S. Naipaul. Dalman has been a reporter and weekly columnist for more than 30 years and worked for 16 of those years for the Alexandria Echo Press.
Dennis Dalman
1 reply
  1. ross
    ross says:

    Dennis, Dennis, Dennis………

    There you go again! I’m only going to address the last part of your latest on “Global Warming”. The following link (unlike your most recent effort) is full of facts – should you choose to consider them – and is done with some humor to boot! PLEASE feel free to dispute any of the scientific facts.


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